Misrepresentation of the Highest order: Oh I'm sorry, did I mislead you? About what? Oh, no that is not referring to twitter. Mein Gott im himmel no! Riding through the preserve the other day I was struck by the amazing array of unique birds flying by, chillin on branches, and "tweeting" to me as I sped past. These are truly the "tweets" that thrill me, keep me high, and make me LOL. BTW is the whole acronym AOL thing just totally passe' anymore? Do Russians still use KAOS (KGB Agent Over Shoulder) ? But anyway back to tweeting in the current sense, which does not make sense to me. Is the concept that any thought that you are thinking, the "internal dialogue" as Castaneda referred to it, must now be broadcast to the world? Will we eventually reach the point that a transmitter or firewire-ready connection is simply attached to our brain and the thoughts auto-magically flow to the internet, plasma monitor or other global sink of information?
I must say this twitter stuff can lead to conceit and self importance. Just reading that email that says my brother-in-law is requesting permission to receive my protected tweets fills me with power and a misguided feeling of purpose. And where can I find this "tweet protector"? Should I go to the pharmacy or perhaps a sporting goods store. Is it as nerdy as a "pocket protector"? Yes it is hard to know how far to go these days in communicating with your friends, family, business associates and kindergarten classmates. Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Myspace, Skype. It makes me long for the days when Ralph Kramden would simply open the window and scream NORTON!. Now that was an instant message!
Lesson from Al: I think that Al was a bit overwhelmed with the Bike MS tour I did this past Sunday, as he was somewhat quiet and not his boastful, brash self. Perhaps it was the 5000 other bikes on display, many in the $1000-$3000 dollar range by my estimate. Yes there was even a gentleman on a racing bike that he had not only shined, but his tires obviously had been polished with Armor All. If I ever reach that point just shoot me, OK? The lesson I learned from Al during the tour was subtle, but reminded me to enjoy the journey, and never be too busy to appeciate the beauty of life, nature, and the wisdom that each moment brings. Although the tour was crowded and I could not bike as fast as I would have liked, especially given the fact that I had a broken spoke and wobbly back rim, the views of the Hudson and East rivers were spectacular. Harlem and Washington Heights are home to some of the most beautiful parks I have seen. I was shocked by the beauty of the day, and of the course.
My Word! When we say Magnificent, what do we mean? Probably the biggest hit on the new U2 cd, "Magnificent" is a term of ultimate quality, as in "The Magnificent 7", both a movie and a Clash song. I refuse to google or webster it, until I make as many absurd and innacurate assumptions about the word as possible. When quality of an entity is magnified, does it become magnificent? More in the next blog after some research on google,webster and Mad magazine.
The Withering Basil: Although it is October 6, it is still 60 degrees at times, so my basil is scrawny and weak, but still breathing. I have not picked any leaves lately, and will soon put the old sages out of their misery. Thank you my teachers, sleep peacefully. We will meet again come spring. The wisdom you have imparted will allow me to survive the challenges of the winter.
Peace and Fun to Everyone!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
If you Screw Up, Success Follows...or "The Explosion is Coming"
Life just never seems to make sense eh? That is the beauty, irony, joy and suffering of it all, and why I can't keep a straight face. The greatest plans and efforts end in disaster, and then when you are clueless and take your eye off the ball, wham! you hit one over the fence. Or something like that.
The big argument I am having with Al (the Mongoose), is if I have to be riding for him to teach me lessons, or if lessons learned while he sits there as a pathetic patient must be attributed to his bloody conceited self! So yes my left pedal broke again and I decided to take matters into my own hands (play scary music appropriate for impending doom). Yes I needed to borrow a pedal wrench from a friend, but hey I still had that other pedal from the last set I purchased. Sadly it was a right pedal and I chose to use it on the left side, which has a different thread. The fuse has been lit.
Disaster Strikes: 15 minues from home, cause and effect collide, and my pedal falls off. Silly me, I think, I must not have tightened it properly. Sorry Matt, the threads are stripped, and you are screwed. All is not lost though, and as I bike home on one pedal, I hear my name called.
A friend from work who retired a year ago greets me and we have a nice chat, catching up on old times and mutual friends. Worth it? Maybe, but let's get the bike shop bill first.
Damage Control: I talk to friends at work about my stupid dilemma and get responses like "hmmmm", and "you know the pedals are threaded,right". Well now I do you genius.
Online forums alert me to the fact that I can get a new crank set for about $200, and then install it myself. Wow, how dumb can I be?
Redemption: When all else fails, and you are lamenting in your own "Gesthemane", there is only one thing to do. Call Al. No not that Al, Al's Bike Shop. I explained my transgression and he coldly stated, "Yeah bring it in. $13 for the crank arm and $3 to install". That's it, $17 bucks including tax, and my sin will be forgiven? Yes the forces that control our universe truly are benevolent, forgiving and compassionate. At least until my next mechanical Faux Pas.
Enough Al, I gave you credit for teaching me yet another lesson, simply because you were disabled and I improperly treated you. What?...Oh yeah right you simply did that on your own accord just to teach me. If you think I believe that then, well wait, maybe, it could happen..
Monkey Business: Don't assume that the forces of universal chaos and successful illogic occur only in the recreational world. Based on my idependent research and general tomfoolery, I have proven that they reign in the corproate world as well. For the past 2 months or so I have been questioning what the hell I have been doing at work, and what if any, value I add to the organization. In cases like this my motto is, "just wait", because things are going to take a turn for the better or a tsunami is around the corner that will transport you into Dante's holy hell! So of course a reorganization occurs, followed by one of my peer's resigning, and lo and behold I am the last man standing. Before I know it people are shaking my hand and saying "congratulations, I know you can do it" and "you really do deserve it", and "it's about time". As people extend these platitudes to me I am tempted to 1) faint 2) call in sick for about 2 years or 3) jump up on my desk and scream "Don't you understand that I have no clue what is going on here!" I have thus far resisted doing any of these things and continue to listen to that slow tick....tick....tick.
Survival: The big question is whether or not we can predict, or even better, control that big explosion that is coming. My belief is that we can. If we simply sit back and fall prey to the stresses and silly morons that clutter our daily lives we passively state that we are open to the explosion happening at any time, and being of a negative, destructive nature. But if we actively take our show on the road, treadmill, water, squash court or yoga mat, we actively take control and tell ourselves and the world that the explosion will be one of joy, beauty and peace. I typically don't quote the bible, but in Acts 8:15-17 we read "when doubt occurs, one must be of the mind to BRING IT ON HOMEBOY, I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT I GOT! Amen.
Just returned from a 2 hour lesson from Al and I must say he was quiet today. I think he wanted to place emphasis on the one lesson that was so relevant, pertaining to the explosion. It occurred while going downhill at a decent pace after traversing up several hills. Nothing specific or profound, just a positive feeling moving forward, coupled with clarity and the understanding that my pulse rate seems to be perfectly in sync with .....the ticking.
Garden Update: The basil plants are entering their last phase of life, it seems, and both are producing sweet smelling leaves, but at a slower rate. The parsley has pretty much called it a day, while the tomato plants are now the MVP's (most valuable plant), giving us lots of colorful delicious fruit. It is that time of year when the summer heat and humidity gives way to cooler, dryer air, and the increasing darkness reminds us that fall is coming. The combination of cooler temperatures, darkness and the sound of crickets in the morning triggers a reaction that I have felt for seemingly all my years. It is a combination of anxiety, anticipation and the mysterious desire to hurl, for some unknown reason.
The big argument I am having with Al (the Mongoose), is if I have to be riding for him to teach me lessons, or if lessons learned while he sits there as a pathetic patient must be attributed to his bloody conceited self! So yes my left pedal broke again and I decided to take matters into my own hands (play scary music appropriate for impending doom). Yes I needed to borrow a pedal wrench from a friend, but hey I still had that other pedal from the last set I purchased. Sadly it was a right pedal and I chose to use it on the left side, which has a different thread. The fuse has been lit.
Disaster Strikes: 15 minues from home, cause and effect collide, and my pedal falls off. Silly me, I think, I must not have tightened it properly. Sorry Matt, the threads are stripped, and you are screwed. All is not lost though, and as I bike home on one pedal, I hear my name called.
A friend from work who retired a year ago greets me and we have a nice chat, catching up on old times and mutual friends. Worth it? Maybe, but let's get the bike shop bill first.
Damage Control: I talk to friends at work about my stupid dilemma and get responses like "hmmmm", and "you know the pedals are threaded,right". Well now I do you genius.
Online forums alert me to the fact that I can get a new crank set for about $200, and then install it myself. Wow, how dumb can I be?
Redemption: When all else fails, and you are lamenting in your own "Gesthemane", there is only one thing to do. Call Al. No not that Al, Al's Bike Shop. I explained my transgression and he coldly stated, "Yeah bring it in. $13 for the crank arm and $3 to install". That's it, $17 bucks including tax, and my sin will be forgiven? Yes the forces that control our universe truly are benevolent, forgiving and compassionate. At least until my next mechanical Faux Pas.
Enough Al, I gave you credit for teaching me yet another lesson, simply because you were disabled and I improperly treated you. What?...Oh yeah right you simply did that on your own accord just to teach me. If you think I believe that then, well wait, maybe, it could happen..
Monkey Business: Don't assume that the forces of universal chaos and successful illogic occur only in the recreational world. Based on my idependent research and general tomfoolery, I have proven that they reign in the corproate world as well. For the past 2 months or so I have been questioning what the hell I have been doing at work, and what if any, value I add to the organization. In cases like this my motto is, "just wait", because things are going to take a turn for the better or a tsunami is around the corner that will transport you into Dante's holy hell! So of course a reorganization occurs, followed by one of my peer's resigning, and lo and behold I am the last man standing. Before I know it people are shaking my hand and saying "congratulations, I know you can do it" and "you really do deserve it", and "it's about time". As people extend these platitudes to me I am tempted to 1) faint 2) call in sick for about 2 years or 3) jump up on my desk and scream "Don't you understand that I have no clue what is going on here!" I have thus far resisted doing any of these things and continue to listen to that slow tick....tick....tick.
Survival: The big question is whether or not we can predict, or even better, control that big explosion that is coming. My belief is that we can. If we simply sit back and fall prey to the stresses and silly morons that clutter our daily lives we passively state that we are open to the explosion happening at any time, and being of a negative, destructive nature. But if we actively take our show on the road, treadmill, water, squash court or yoga mat, we actively take control and tell ourselves and the world that the explosion will be one of joy, beauty and peace. I typically don't quote the bible, but in Acts 8:15-17 we read "when doubt occurs, one must be of the mind to BRING IT ON HOMEBOY, I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT I GOT! Amen.
Just returned from a 2 hour lesson from Al and I must say he was quiet today. I think he wanted to place emphasis on the one lesson that was so relevant, pertaining to the explosion. It occurred while going downhill at a decent pace after traversing up several hills. Nothing specific or profound, just a positive feeling moving forward, coupled with clarity and the understanding that my pulse rate seems to be perfectly in sync with .....the ticking.
Garden Update: The basil plants are entering their last phase of life, it seems, and both are producing sweet smelling leaves, but at a slower rate. The parsley has pretty much called it a day, while the tomato plants are now the MVP's (most valuable plant), giving us lots of colorful delicious fruit. It is that time of year when the summer heat and humidity gives way to cooler, dryer air, and the increasing darkness reminds us that fall is coming. The combination of cooler temperatures, darkness and the sound of crickets in the morning triggers a reaction that I have felt for seemingly all my years. It is a combination of anxiety, anticipation and the mysterious desire to hurl, for some unknown reason.
Could it be the conditioned response of years of dreading the start of school, or perhaps it is the internal human clock. Do our bodies make an instinctual correlation between the seasons caused by the spinning of the earth, and the cycle of our existance here on earth.? Hmmm, wow that makes my head hurt.
My Word! Have you noticed the latest vocalism that is en vogue these days? "Yeah-Yeah" spoken quickly with a bit more accent on the first yeah, is being heard more and more in the workplace, in bars, at poetry readings, and at garbage dumps and morgues (how would I know?) Is it a throwback to the fab vocab of the Beatles, or just the latest nuance of human-speak. Not sure and it certainly is not as a prevalent as the annoying "Yeah-No" that swept the Long Island/NYC and who knows where else about 2 years ago. At any rate, listen for it eminating from a set of teeth near you.
Until next time, Keep the Faith and don't let that ticking sound keep you up at night, as it is probably only the alarm clock. Oh wait that's digital. Oops, now you know how I feel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)