If You Can't Find it, Blame the Terrorists

At the risk of evil blog stalkers gaining this information, I feel compelled to raise the world's awareness. Imagine this scenario: 2 minutes left in the Super Bowl, Eli Manning driving the Giants down the field for the win, when suddenly attendees and viewers alike hear an audible pop, then nothing. The teams  are gone, the fans are gone, the stadium's gone. Huh ? Sounds like a David Copperfield stunt right ? I have information from unnamed and possibly nonexistent sources that terror organizations are enlisting the most talented magicians to plan diabolical events as just mentioned. Think of the damage to our country's spirit, should the  Pope or President suddenly disappear while giving a televised speech. The TV camera zooms in to the podium, where a single bowl of Chile or power ranger action figure now fields questions from the press. The question from Homeland Security would obviously be "where are these leaders, football teams and stadiums going?" I am beginning to ask the same question about this post. Some of my readers will say, "this could never happen", but in the words of Mad Eye Moody, "Constant Vigilance !".

The Higher Selfie: much has been written over the years in spiritual and religious texts about the "Self". This is not to be confused with the "self" or , for that matter, the "shelf", which is where many of these texts sit at the library, and where flammable and poisonous liquids reside in my garage. But the "Self", in eastern religions such as buddhism, represents the transcendent nature of each of us,
which seeks knowledge and enlightenment, similar to the "soul" of  Christianity and other religions. A worrisome campaign has been started by liberal groups, to re-invent this concept in the sacred texts, replacing the "Self" with the "Selfie". Conservative political  affiliates have stated that newly released manuscripts from the White House shredders  implicate President Obama as an accomplice in this project. According to tea party members currently incarcerated for vague IRS infractions, Obama's team has tainted classic texts such as the Upanishads, Rig Veda and Bhagavad Gita by inserting selfies of celebrities such as. Red Sox slugger Big Papi, Martha Stewart, Lady Gaga and Boy George where previously the Sanskrit term for "Self"  appeared.  Religious scholars and clergy alike are aghast at this high-tech sacrilege. The Dalai Lama himself was quoted as saying: "There in nothing but Self, as the Self is the unknown, and the Selfie looks best on an I-Phone". Rumors have persisted for years that the Dalai had a dalliance with Steve Jobs and ever since remains steadfastly loyal to Apple.

But on a serious note: 
I apologize for the above omission, but I have nothing of a serious nature to report.

Keep the Faith (and grow the Basil)  !

The End of the World

Yes it is true, you may say, that the end of the world is as likely as me kick-starting that rusted out, neglected old blog machine again. This past Sunday was sunny and warm and I was in the mood for creating some good old gumption. And nothing , Robert Pirsig often said, creates gumption better than cleaning up, and sorting, and creating order. For those uninitiated, who have not read "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance", gumption is defined as a positive, confident, energy that that allows and encourages you to believe that all things are possible. So lo and behold, after cleaning the shed of the following:

1. A pile of grass seed created by the mouse in residence munching on a bag of Scott's sun and shade seed
2. 25% of the wire (lamp, speaker,monster cable) from a rent lawn bag
3. Old drop cloths, that were older sheets and blankets
4. A variety of items that needed rearranging, repositioning,sweeping or to be transported to the garage

I  was filled with gumption at the sight of the clean, orderly space that now consisted of, well, open space. I thought the job was done, but a strange, subtle curiosity behind my eyes nudged me forward to move a piece of stockade fence to the side.....and there it was. The blog machine.. dirty, rusty,all but shouting "I will not start". I felt my gumption waning, and realized I had perhaps one last moment of action remaining. I quickly pulled the cord, nothing, then again...more promising, and again....and IT ROARED.


Thus, here we are. The blogging season has begun.